“I HATE WINTER!” a therapy client recently exclaimed. If I’m honest, much of the time, I feel the same. I recently snapped friends a pic of our first dusting of snow, which was gone within the hour, and typed “Is winter over yet?” A friend came back with “January is the worst.” “THE WORST!” I replied.

These are the dog days of Winter. I keep hearing Kid Rock singing in my head “I ain’t seen the sunshine in…. 3 damn weeks.” We’re all getting restless with the short bleak days and long dark nights, an absent sun and cold temperatures. Truth is, it’s easy to hate on winter. Even amongst those that love winter, I think there can be no debate that winter is a harsh climate to survive, much less thrive in, rivaled only by the scorching heat of the dog days of Summer. No wonder Frost debated between fire and ice.

Recently, I find myself compelled to take another view of winter. In part because I’m challenging myself to have a more nuanced view of the hard things in life than just slapping it with a “BAD” label. (Something I’m working out through this “In Defense of” Series.) Perhaps I’m also compelled because I’ve been considering the winter of life as I barrel towards it. Not to mention the constant exposure, as a therapist, to the personal winters of so many folks. Plus, my own. At any rate, I find myself reflecting on winters literally and metaphorically that at best many of us resist and at worst we despise

What is the function of winter? How does it work in nature, in our lives and across the lifespan? How do we get the most out of this season both naturally and personally?

The definition provides the context: “to bring or direct toward a common center.” There’s a retreat that happens in winter. We pull back into our homes, our families, and into ourselves. With concentration, things get reduced, compressed, intense. Only the essence remains.
The bitter cold of winter tests strength and endurance. If there’s a weakness in the structure of our homes it will be tested: roofs leak, pipes burst, cold draughts blow through. Perhaps likewise as we retreat into the shelter of our families, the weakness in our relationships and character is tried.
All the leaves are gone, the plants die off and the landscape opens up. What was hidden in all the other seasons is now exposed. The skeletal structure of the earth is revealed. Perhaps likewise, we can be seen. The losses sustained as we are concentrated and tested, leave us bare. The skeleton of our priorities, our values, our motives which guided the choices we made in other seasons, revealed. What we discover in winter might be as exquisite as the gorgeous views offered on a hike or as bleak as a colorless, barren city.

**Could our experience of our various winters be dependent on how we have structured our homes, our relationships and our minds? Can we determine the quality of our winter?**

Cultivating foresight for the future OR Clinging to blinders of the present
Investing some of our time to repair & fortify OR Procrastinating in favor of leisure
Setting aside provisions & resources for tomorrow OR Indulging the abundance of fall’s harvest today
Attending to our physical and mental limits OR Running at max capacity stealing from the future
Attending to our relationships OR Allowing distractions of the summer to pacify

So where is the good in the harshness of winter? Winter teaches. Winter strengthens & binds us. Winter reveals what matters, guides our decisions & develops wisdom. Each winter is a new opportunity to experiment, practice and work it out .

When we accept “Winter is Coming,” we can act wisely. And then, perhaps, Winter can delight. That’s not to say there won’t still be bleakness, bitterness and sorrow to contend with. Winter will still come with it’s hard losses. And when we’ve structured our homes, our relationships and our minds with winter in view, we will delight in the protection of our shelters, the warmth of our fires, and the slower pace of our time.

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”

— Albert Camus

Winter Delights

Comfortable clothes & cozy blankets
Entrancing fires (use YouTube in a pinch) & pleasing candles
Solitary activities like reading, writing, drawing, movies
Intimate conversation and sweet snuggles
Small gatherings indulging conversation over dinner, puzzles or strategy boardgames.